Category: Dating and Relationships
Do you honestly think that age doesn't matter? At a certain age, this can be true. But at a young age, it really isn't. The couple may be completely happy with it and not care but the world doesn't accept it. This wouldn't be an issue if only youth didn't mean, living with your parents because by law they must take care of you, so really now? Can age not matter? If my mother hears I hang out with anyone over fourteen, she flips, or asks questions, many questions. Well, she doesn't flip if the person is female, so I'm guessing she knows I'm not a lesbian. I understand that rapes occur, and there are pedifiles, but see the thing is, not everyone is a rapist, or a pedifile, so why assume everyone is? I know I'm asking many questions at once but they all do need to be addressed. The serious thing here is that if I tell her that he's blind, then she gets all hurt for thinking things. But see... if you're blind you can still molest another blind person or rape them, and I'm legally blind so, why assume that if he's blind he's ok? There is an equal percentage of fucked up people out in the world. And age, disability, race, really can't judge how fucked up they really are. I say, assume they are all fucked up, or assume none are.
That's true; my parents seem to think blind people are safer too when that's not true. I think your parents are right to ask questions and be cautious, but not totally flip out. Age does matter especially when you're young, because people change so much more rapidly and mature in a few short years; it's amazing. I'm twenty, and I've changed so much in the past five years, and so have all my friends and the young people around me. I think we can learn a lot from older people though. Have your parents talk to and/or meet the older people in your life.
Yup just because he's blind doesn't mean he might not rape you. Any guy might do that, even if he has no sight. Believe me I know this as when guy I dated who was also blind tried to force sex on me but failed at least at that sense I was strong enough to over power him and mentally keep my mind clear. After that I did not trust the guy near me alone in my room. So yes at your age, as a teen your folks are still your guardians until 18 where you have the right to do what you please. But they're doing this to protect you, not rule over you. And trust me when you turn 21 things will change, friends will change, outlook will change and who knows what else might happen.
Yup just because he's blind doesn't mean he might not rape you. Any guy might do that, even if he has no sight. Believe me I know this as when guy I dated who was also blind tried to force sex on me but failed at least at that sense I was strong enough to over power him and mentally keep my mind clear. After that I did not trust the guy near me alone in my room. So yes at your age, as a teen your folks are still your guardians until 18 where you have the right to do what you please. But they're doing this to protect you, not rule over you. And trust me when you turn 21 things will change, friends will change, outlook will change and who knows what else might happen.
I think people believe the planet is overflowing with fucked up people just because they're unknown. It's not like the psychos and rapists wear signs like "Proud to be a Killer" or some such thing. Yes, I know, another crackpot theory.
Hey chica. :)
I don't know, age matters, not really to me not as much as it did before. Depends on maturity on both parties, as well as your parents and there views of things, of people. I don't know if this makes sense, if your like 8 years older then your partner, and say your like 20 and there like 15 and under, that's a problem with me, but if it's a gap of 2 and you both don't care.... well... up to you.
Guess all I'm trying to say really, is, maturity is abig big issue with me
Take care,
There was a case some time ago of Michael Samms a one legged killer, he was an extremly dangerous and unpredictable man,Samms was even caught on camera trying to attack a psychiatrist who was questioning hi.Your man wouldn't think twice about assaulting women his disability wasn't a factor..
I think age matters as soon as the age gap gets too big, for example a 18-year-old girl with a - let's say - 12-year-old guy or the other way round. But if the age gap is only 1 to 4 years - why not?
Well parents worry, it's what they do. I think there are a number of factors though, i think the mixing with people your age, or mixing with others with the same disability as you potentially fall into the same category for your parents - you're mixing with your peers. I do think that age matters in terms of that the younger you are, the more likely you are to take certain risks. it doesn't mean that at 14 you can't be mature, but it does mean that you are often more wreckless and therefore it happens more often that young people often can be taken advantage of by older ones.
I think as far as people thinking that the world is full of pedifiles is concerned, the media has a lot to answer for. We live in this society where, if a young girl is murdered, it is reported on the news 24 hours a day until the killer is found, and until and after the killer is found, the media question what happened, whether we should lock up our children because they are not safe anywhere they go. The reality is that there is not a pedifile lying in wait under every bush waiting to pounce on the next passing child, yes there are pedifiles out there, but there are more good than bad people out there. the fact is that a child is more likely to be murdered by someone he/she knows than a stranger. But we seem to have lost our faith in humanity.
I can certainly agree that we seem to have lost our faith in humanity, but when I look at the statistics I don't wonder why...If ever I have children, I won't even trust them alone with most of the people I know...But that's just me. As far as the innocence issue, I think parents do associate disability and innocence, even if it is not true. Which I by no means believe it is.
I think it's sad that we've lost our faith in humanity.
How many disabled paedophiles have been arrested or even reported it just doesn't happen,as society would prefer not to think of disabled people as sexual beings even in that twisted version.... I know it's off opic but what the hell in care homes for people with severe CP ect, the male and female residents, are kept apart, no wonder society has this completely skewed image of disabled people and the possiblity that they can enjoy sex or have the compulsion to abuse children....
Well, age doesn't matter to me until you get to the point where someone your dating is like 21 and your 13...But like Torico said...A few years difference doesn't matter. I also agree that maturity defines whether I'm gonna date someone, not that they're somehow cooler because they're older....Don't get caught in a trap thinking that someone is a better person just cuz they're older, it doesn't always work that way. Besides, just because they're older doesn't mean they have any more sexual experience then you do either, because I know several younger guys than me who...well, lets just say they get around a lot, and one of them is 12! I'm not saying I support that, I'm just stating a fact. So yeah, my original point is, if you like somebody who's older than you by just a little, say 2/3 years, then go for it! I think that blind people mature faster than sighted people anyways, so you're gonna be attracted to older guys if that's the case with you. But you gotta take time out and show your parents that he's worth your time, and he's not gonna rape you. You have to let them know him, not completely shut them out, cuz then they'll never trust you. My sister had this problem and now my parents dont trust her at all. Also, I disagree with the fact that disabled people can't be fucked up, I know they can, not from experience but well anything is possible, and disabled people have the same mental capabilities as any sighted person, but it's all about the sighted community pitying what they don't understand, a fact of life.
can understand the worries from our parents specially we are girls. nowadays, the humanity, is sick.
It is but you should not have prejudices though.
Well, I don't think age matters as long as the two people are over 18. Smile. I'm attracted to someone younger than me, so, as long as the parties are over age, what's the big deal. It's a matter of prefference.
I don't hold to the "age is just a number" school of belief. After all, age induces many stages of change (hormonal, at the very least). As we grow older, our thought processes and prioities change. This makes association with those younger difficult as their values and perspectives can be drastically different from ours. Conversely, if we date someone quite a bit older than us, we'll be in one reality and them in another. If that distance is only a few years, and assuming you two are around the same age bracket (say, 20 to 25, or 26 to 32 or so), then the difference is less important as by then most people begin to think along the same lines and have shared a lot of similar experiences. As to the question of blind people being less harmful, that's completely a sighted person's stereotypical sense of security against the disabled... After all, what can a disabled person do, right? Truth of the matter, however, is that a blind person can do just as much as a sighted member of that same sex can. Rape is a universal concern, not just among the "normal" people. By the way women: If you ever get raped, and you get the opportunity to get your hands on his scrotum, grab it and twist and pull for all you're worth and don't let go. Rip the damn thing off if you can, because then the last thing they will have in mind is raping you. If you've got sharp implements, or even any blunt ones, ram them into his softer places (his pelvis, anal region, testicles, or other likewise vulnerable spots). Don't bother trying to pull his penis in trying to hurt him. The penis is design to slip out of ... places, so he can definitely pull out of your grasp and then he'll lash back. The testicles, however, have the exact kind of design that lends itself to being the perfect devistation handle. Never surrender yourself to any pig who tries to desecrate Nature's greatest temple: your flesh. Fact of the matter is, the law really won't persecute them, so it's up to you to do it. Plus, the law won't be there while you're being raped; You are all on your own until and if help arrives. Grab those testiles and pull. Pull till they rip off if you must, but grab and pull and twist until he begs for mercy, then pull and twist even more. ... Uh, sorry, got a bit carried away (die rapists!). Summarizing: Age is definitely a valid consideration when dating, especially if you two are far enough apart to be in differing age brackets. And... May all rapists, child molesters, abusers and otherwise unpleasant men die a very very slow, extremely painful and gory death!
Ouch, wrathe, I agree with your general views but have to say the centiment is a little bit too one sided for me, what about the evil women in this world, there is no denying that they exist and I would think in good numbers, I think we should change this to evil people. Your last post gave too much of a sense of "all men are evil and they should die" which is as far from the truth as can be. In general though I totally agree with you that rapists deserve nothing good from the world and all the bad that they bring on themselves. As for blind being more "harmless" than the sighted there are some things that may support that. When you are with a sighted person, especially when you go places you are very much at their mercy, when driving somewhere e.g. unless you've gone that route many times before it is completely up to them to deliver you to the place you want to go to, they could as well drive you somewhere else and then you'd be completely at their mercy, even when they are walking you somewhere the same applies although you ar more likely to be in public and thus save, with two blind people you are less likely to get into a situation where you are so reliant on the other person. Of course that being said it is true that similar risks appply, blind people are certainly not any more innocent than their sighted peers. As for age, well I think it was put nicely above, people change in stages and you do need to be at the same general stage in life, I think, to have a good probability of a successful relationship e.g. someone in high school that intends to go to college and wants to travel the world probably won't be happy dating someone who graduated college and is ready to settle down and have a family and wants a partner to do it with. It may last for some time but ultimately I think the different desires and intensions will break apart the relationship, just to take an example. :)
cheers
-B
You know, as I look at some of this, it makes me wonder about how vulernable we all are. However, getting to the age matter.
Personally, from my point of view, and from my experience, it doesn't matter. The most important thing, in all cases, is maturity, and speaking from my experience, dating some girls that I have dated, maturity was a key factor. And I must say, that it's reversed.
However, from today's look upon things from society, age difference can be a key factor do to interests. Interests meaning, music, reading, hobbies, etc. From my personal experience, this definitely is a key factor, not doubt about it.
However, I have come across a few that I know, and that I have dated, that were very mature for their age, and the interest aspect of it was phenomenal. So, it all depends on the individual.
as long as both of the party are above 18, age is not a matter for me. but of course, it must have a bother line as well. i can't simply love someone older than my parents for example, i can't love someone maybe 50, or 60 as my lover. i can love them, as someone older than me, as my brother or guider maybe but i can't love them as someone as my lover.
Age, to a certain degree, is irelivant. It's the two individual people that count and every situation should be judged with no preconceived ideas. And i do not think, for one moment, that disability should be viewed as innocence. That being said, I have seen this happen to me and to others in the past whom I've been with.
I am fairly young, and no age does not matter really. It's just a fucking damned number. Now... Blind as innocence as I have expressed before is ignorance and should be discouraged.